a home for dora

I am a planner. Not just for tomorrow or for the next day but for months and years in advance. It is a bit of a problem. As I sit and think about my trip to Asia this summer I am already pondering "what time will I need to leave for the airport when I take my flight from Beijing to Cambodia?" and "how will I meet up with my friend in Beijing to leave behind some luggage?" and "what piece of luggage do I need for Vietnam?" and "what outfit will I wear on the plane?" etc. etc.

I am my own killjoy. I obsess over and research things like luggage storage, bus departure times and the space provided on a sleeper train. I live in constant fear that I will be unprepared. That I will miss the flight/bus/train/boat and be stuck somewhere foreign in a city I have not researched.

And yet...I love to travel. I love the impromptu moments on a trip when something unexpected happens and for a moment I am not planning/worrying ahead but truly enjoying the moment. I travel for that sole reason and moment.

So having got it into my head that I will be getting my own apartment this fall I am now obsessively looking at apartment listings. The same thing happened when I had a brief flirtation with buying a place this year. I was glued to the MLS site and could talk of nothing else. And even though I said I was looking to find somewhere for the fall I still applied for the mortgage immediately and started going to open houses and even made an offer on one place. As soon as the idea of buying a place was in my head there was no waiting it out to see how I felt in the fall. I was looking today.

The condo buying ran out of steam when I realised that that purchase would negate all future travel plans and leave me running at a huge financial deficit if I ever left town and wanted to rent the place. And with my neurotic tendencies I just couldn't handle that.

The 'new plan' is to rent my own apartment in December. Why December you ask? Well, with my current focus on trip planning I think moving would be too much of a distraction at the moment. Plus, I walk to work. And I enjoy it. Most of the neighborhoods I am looking at would require a real commute (bus, skytrain or bike) and I want to enjoy my summer stroll until the end of October. So I have decided on December 1st 2008 as the day I am back in my own apartment.

But now I am obsessed with finding that apartment today. What are the odds the perfect one bedroom in my price range will be listed on craigslist with the caveat 'I hope you're planning way ahead because this one isn't available until December.' Not likely. And yet...I still look. Everyday. Just in case. And so I can obsess over the idea that I am potentially losing out on the one great apartment out there that has everything and is a great deal in the location I want.

'Sigh'. Back to craigslist.