the smug report (is it safe for the smugs to read?)

Yes I read R's post. Yes it comes off as smug married people (both posts although I am happy she is crazy enough about the husband to write publicly about him).

Readers Note: None of the below comments are aimed at any friends or family. They are merely observations.

It seems like an evolution; you go from smug single, to smug married, to smug parent, to smug empty nester to smug retiree and then you die with a smug look on your face knowing that you were in the best position in life the whole time you lived. You won.

On the flip side you're always irritated at the smug person ahead of you; the one having the kids while you are trying to enjoy newlywed status. The parents telling you smuggly that you don't 'really' know what life is like until you have kids. They've given life; while you're just...well just being. And then when you smuggly have kids they'll tell you smuggly that you just don't know real life until your children have left home and your watching them make their way in the world. And then when you send your kids off you have to deal with these same smug people breathing down your neck about how great retirement is and how you finally get to fully and smuggly enjoy life. Then you retire and these same people are in competition with your for who has the worst ailments, been on the longest cruise and is leaving their children and grandchildren with the most money. You smuggly go to their funerals content in the knowledge that you outlived them.

I am currently at the smug career focused part of my life. We don't all go through this phase at the same time. In fact, our mother just got here and she is in her 60s! It can in fact replace smug parenthood if you don't have children or occur after raising children. Two of my sister's are in smug married phase and I am sure this will be replaced in a few years by smug parenthood.. Smug marrieds only occur if you get married in your late 20s or 30s. Friends who have married young tend not to be smug about it for one of two reasons. 1) They are now divorced. 2) They were not battle weary from dating at that tender age so didn't feel anything to be smug about.

As a smug single I listen to the bitching about husband's and smuggly think to myself 'if I ever get married it won't be to a guy that does that'. As a smug career focused female I smuggly listen to friends complain about their jobs and how they aren't where they want to be or doing what they want to do and I smuggly think 'thank goodness that isn't me'. I know my smug married friends listen to me complain about the lack of single men in this city and think smuggly 'well, I found one!' or 'so happy that isn't me'. As I drone on to friends about my career I'm sure many of them have the smug thought 'I would hate to be that focused on my career.' or 'There is so much more to life when you have a family'.

The smug also tend to have revisionist histories. They think 'I was never that desperate/poor/single/lost/unhappy/unfocused etc.' Once you leave a smug phase for another you immediately disassociate with the person you were in that last phase.

You can cycle back on smughood. Going from smug married to smug single. But it will impact your social network. Smug divorced don't mix well with smug married. It just raises too many uncomfortable subjects and ideas for the smug marrieds. And smug marrieds don't want to hit the bar with their newly single smug friends unless they are heading for smug divorced status. I think this is the death of a lot of friendships; just not being in the same smug place and not caring to listen to a phase of life you are not interested in at that moment or never planning on entering.

In the end you want to make the best of whatever you have. Whether that be a husband, a career, a child or a bunch of free time. It isn't necessary to tell everyone you're at the best point; it is enough for you to know it. I will now go spend the money I made selling the road bike my ex-gave me and will smuggly not have to conference with a husband to make a decision on what I should buy myself.